Numb

Photo taken by Rebecca Hosking, Bolivia

Numb

It feels like I can not be trusted

Or decipher these feelings I get

Being pulled in different directions

The hurt has not subsided yet

So I drown my sorrows only to create a bigger mess

Lost sight of all my convictions

Numb at the very best

R. Hosking

© 2013

Unanswered Chainletters

UNANSWERED CHAIN LETTERS

There’s a hope chest full of memories’

Some old photograph’s and rosary beads

A few valentines’ I never sent

All the places I wanted to see but hadn’t been yet

Time sure does fly

Seems like yesterday I was just a child

The lessons I’ve learned over the years

People I’ve lost in the river of tears

The merry trails and old stomping grounds

Come full circle as the hands on the clock go around

Those old chain letters I used to get

Before there was internet

If the chain be broken there’d be ten years of bad luck

I just kept them in my hope chest never sent them to anyone

Me I was a hands on kind of person

Sifting through these years of dreams

I’m happy to say I’ve been busy livin’

Those chain letters never affected me

© R. Hosking

 

Grow Old Gracefully

Photo taken by Rebecca Hosking

GROW OLD GRACEFULLY

Age used to scare me

I think back when I was young

Mom and Dad made life seem so easy

But I saw Mom cry sometimes when the day was done

She laid her head in his hands

It scared me to think

What could be so bad

What crushed their world in this way

The only thing I could think of as a child

Must have been age

Time went by like it always does

Those hard times were never pressed in my thoughts

I never knew the struggles

The sacrifices they made

I never saw the world through their eyes

I wrote it off because of my age

I learned so much over the years

Sometimes I run

And sometimes I face my fears

Age used to scare me

It still can but not like before

Look at all the memories it gave me

All these things that I didn’t have before

I have learned courage

And what we have as a family

Is strength in numbers

We stood together through good or bad

Now I know age doesn’t really matter

Standing together is all I need in my man

Age used to scare me

But think of the gifts and knowledge that age can give

Now I just want to grow old gracefully

And live and let live

Just like my parents did

R. Hosking © 2008

Voices

Artwork by Rebecca Hosking

VOICES

There are voices that live in my head

They spoke to me and I believed every word they said

I once lived in a paradise of truth

Until I took a bite of that fruit

That tall tree reaches to the sky

With branches that hide the sun from my eyes

The knowledge of all that is real where only love exists

Was replaced with an ache that continuously persists

The voices said this is the whole picture of what’s good and bad

The choice was mine, take this or what I had

Yes I bought into it hook line and sinker

That prince of lies fed on my finger

And like a parasite it latched on and spread its disease

Contagiously aware and feeding on me

But the beauty of light is we seek it when its gone

In sincere pursuit for two loving arms

Truth is absent in those dark corners where only lies live

I vaguely remember I once had so much love to give

I’m learning that truth is real, you can see it, feel it, smell its breath

Lies are not real and leave you living a life of regret

There is a voice that lives in my heart

One voice that is always encouraging a new start

It waits patiently for me to find a cure

From everything that is impure

Whenever I fall down

There is always something that picks me up off the ground

I saw it, and felt it, and smelled its breath

It spoke with the purest voice

And said the decision is yours to make the right choice

R. Hosking © 2008

One Hundred Years

Alice Cowan, Photo provided by Carol Hosking

 
ONE HUNDRED YEARS

I feel tongue tied

A little choked up inside

One hundred years is still not enough time

To learn the grace

In every line of her face

And I know its going to take

Another hundred years

For me to fight these tears

And learn to breathe without her here

In the kingdom she now rules

Together again with a love so true

He waited patiently for his jewel

Leaving us with the remaining minutes

Wanting nothing more than to relive it

Every day we shared

And cherish the moments she was there

I will mourn the loss with a triumphant win

Of having the memory of that cheeky grin

I would not exist if it was not for her

It defines who I am and what I have learned

Although it’s hard to imagine what it will be like

And I can’t find any words to describe

One hundred years behind her eyes

What a celebration of life

R.Hosking © 2009

In tribute to:

Alice Cowan (Gran)

1908 - 2009

The Unknown

Artwork by Rebecca Hosking

 THE UNKNOWN

I gave thanks today for the light tapping at my window

I felt the warmth of the rebirth

And When I opened my eyes to greet the day

I felt my self worth

God gave me a Mother with passionate love

She learned her craft through God’s son

Problems knock on my front door

And fear sometimes consumes my soul

But I pray to find strength

In order to tackle the unknown

When I falter and the earth shakes

Family is always there to guide the way

When the rocks crack and open to expose the core secret

I learn from the scars that God left behind

Through the valleys and canyons and hieroglyphics

I pray you hold me in your arms now that my Mother is gone

Not just to bide time but to teach me how to appreciate life

Not to fear the unknown

But to love with my whole being

Until I am welcomed home

R. Hosking © 2008